Betting unders sucks.

I’m sitting in front of the television tonight watching Game 5 of the Rays/Rangers first-round playoff series. And I’m on the under.

That means every time a batter reaches base, I frown. Every time a runner reaches scoring position, I scowl. Every time a runner comes home, I curse.

I feel like Ebenezer Scrooge or The Grinch or the uptight librarian. I don’t want anybody having fun.

But, hey, if it makes me money, I’m good with it.

Oddsmakers know it’s no fun betting unders. That’s why, more often than not, it’s the better bet.

I’m not saying that you can blindly bet under the total in every game and be on your way to Easy Street.

Last year in the NHL, for example, 51.9 per cent of games went under the total. If you’re laying an average of -110 juice in all those games, you’d still be down money betting the under every game.

But betting over every game would obviously have been much worse on your pocketbook.

(By the way, the under did cash at a higher rate last year in games where Eastern Conference teams were involved, winning at 52.6 per cent. Western Conference teams were under the total only 51.2 per cent of the time.)

Right now, the Rays/Rangers game sits at 5-1 Texas in the bottom of the ninth. I have under 6.5. With two outs to go, one more run will sink me.

One more out now. I don’t want to see any miraculous rallies. I don’t even want the ball put in contact one more time.

B.J. Upton just popped up for the final out. The game is over, a 5-1 Texas final. The Rays, a team I was pulling for all season, are out of the playoffs.

But I’m smiling.